Tati Kalveks, Part Deux!

ENTERTAINMENT - So apparently if you Google Tati Kalveks my blog is #2 on the list right now.

Huzzah!

How was this brought to my attention? An email from Andy Patterson of Abubilla Music brought it to my attention that apparently my blog post on her is quite popular.

"Hi there,

I hope this finds you well.

I saw the post on your blog about Tati Kalveks and about recordings of her. Indeed-the Youtube videos were from mobiles at our gig at the Half Moon.

We have produced an album of Tati's material. I'd love to send you a copy for possible review if that's ok?

Its called Graceless and you can preview it here: http://smcc.bandcamp.com/album/graceless

I can either send you over a CD in the post or a download link for the tracks.

It would be great to hear what you think.

Best regards

Andy"

My thoughts? Its a fun album. Happy-go-lucky-feminist-music. :)

Listen here:

Pretty Young Thing

ENTERTAINMENT - "Pretty Young Thing" is a feminist music video by New York-based singer-songwriter "Nehedar" (Emilia Cataldo). Huzzah!

The Truth about Aunts

I'm the crazy Aunt everyone warned you about...



And its so true.

My sister and her husband hate me (or more specifically they hate the things I give my niece for xmas and birthdays).

This past xmas for 2011?

I gave my niece a drum set. Buying for her is getting tricky. She is 12 and interested in boys and I wanted to give her something she could 2 things with: #1. Vent frustration during her teenage years; #2. Be creative with. I saw the drum set and I knew her parents would be pissed at me... but I also knew I would be her favourite aunt forever and ever. (Technically I am her only aunt, but you know...)

In 2010 I got her a magazine subscription to Ms.

In 2009 I got her art supplies and a book about Banksy (the graffiti artist)... and gave her strict instructions she is to make artwork, not graffiti.

She reads my blog so I can't say what I will get her for xmas 2012. Ever since the drum set she is now bugging her parents for a guitar. Hmm. :)

Controversy attracts Lawsuits

Note to Self:

In the past 4 years roughly I have been threatened with 5 different lawsuits from various different people... mostly because I like to say it how it is. None of the lawsuits amounted to anything more than threats and I am easily amused by vague attempts to get "blood from a stone".

Speaking honestly and truthfully means people get easily offended. Especially if you say anything remotely controversial and they dispute the truth / facts of your statement.

You asked me if those pants made your butt look big.

I responded "Your butt is always big."

And that is the truth of it. Getting offended because a friend (or enemy) told you the truth of the situation or explained the facts to you doesn't mean you have to get all upset about it and angry at them.

Anger isn't going to help solve your problem.

The Five Stages of Acceptance

Denial (My butt is not fat!!!)

Anger (How dare you say my butt is fat!!!??? You're supposed to be my friend.)

Bargaining (Listen, I didn't call you fat, how come you get to call me fat?)

Depression (I'm sooooooooooo fat!)

Acceptance (Okay, so I am fat, curvy and voluptuous. I guess I should use that as an asset.)

So in the end if I (or anyone else) says something truthful and factual you need to understand that getting angry and threatening to sue the person isn't going to get you what you want. Denying it, being angry, trying to bargain isn't going to get you anywhere. You need to be depressed about it for a bit, realize its just the way it is, and then accept it.

Of course some people just have anger issues and never get past the anger stage, but that isn't going to help them. It will just make their lawyers bill bigger trying to move the immovable.

Side Note:

I am really into fun analogies today...

Trying to break the unbreakable.
Trying to squeeze the unsqueezable.
Trying to scare the fearless.
Trying to conquer the unconquerable.
Trying to quench the unquenchable.
Trying to penetrate the impenetrable.

And my personal favourite: Trying to rape the unrapeable.

Are White Women more Selfish?

RELATIONSHIPS & SEX - Today is Valentines... but I want to talk about an interesting trend I've noticed.

White men who prefer non-white women, because (according to them) non-white women are less selfish, more forgiving, more tolerant, more giving, more loyal, more patient, more diligent, more understanding and kinder.

Notice anything?

They're basically listing all of the Seven Virtues except for chastity. (And lets face it, men really don't care about chastity, they only care about loyalty.)

Now that is very interesting to me because it narrows down to the idea that white women are somehow less virtuous, that they are more selfish, less tolerant, etc.

And there really is no way to prove this theory, but I think we can narrow it down to several options.

Option #1. White Women really are more selfish.

If so, then why? Is it because white women have a greater sense of entitlement, not due to racism, but because white women see themselves as the standard and that men should be fighting over them. This concept gives white women more arrogance (the opposite of humility), and arrogance is said to be the root of all other vices (and humility is the root of all virtues).

Part of it may be due to the Golddigger Phenomenon, wherein white women expect to find the man of their dreams and won't settle for anything less. They've set such high standards for themselves that no man will ever fulfill. (This does disappear with age and humility however.)

Speaking for myself, in my activities as a lesbian with bisexual leanings, I've discovered that non-white women are more affectionate and caring. So perhaps non-white women really are more humble.

Option #2. Its just a stereotype.

Call it the result of a limited test sample. White men go out with white women. They conclude that all white women are selfish based on the source information and then have a wonderful loving relationship with a non-white woman. This then conclude must mean that all non-white women are less arrogant, less selfish and more virtuous.

Option #3. Both.

Sometimes the stereotype can also be accurate.

Ahem.

Perhaps the thing I want to say here is that while women are now equals under the law in most countries, we haven't really succeeded much in how to behave like equals. We've been told we have rights and that has certainly helped, but a good woman (regardless of her sense of equality) is also a virtuous woman.

What I've also noticed is that most white feminists don't care much about what goes on outside of the Americas and Europe. They know comparatively little about what social movements are going on in the Middle East, Africa and Asia. Part of that is just lack of information, but I think that is going to change with time and rapidly increasing globalization of technology.

In 50 years we could see a world where all women are united under the common cause of equality for all. And hopefully we learn some virtues along the way.

Arrogance is only going to piss people off. Humility and Self Respect is key, but arrogance is overdoing it.

The Truth about Chris Brown

FEMINIST - In 2009 Chris Brown pleaded guilty to felony assault of singer and then-girlfriend Rihanna. He was sentenced to five years probation and six months of community service.

He had beaten up his girlfriend and her injuries were so severe they could not be hidden by makeup. Rihanna's scheduled performance at the 2009 Grammy Awards was cancelled.



Following his arrest, several of Chris Brown's commercial ads were suspended, his music was withdrawn from multiple radio stations, and he withdrew from public appearances, including the 2009 Grammy Awards, where he was replaced by Justin Timberlake and Al Green. Brown hired a crisis management team to handle his new media image.

On June 22nd, 2009, Chris Brown pleaded guilty to felony assault and accepted a plea deal of community labor, five years' formal probation and domestic violence counseling.

Numerous organizations criticised the plea deal, advocating the punishment was not severe enough for the crime.

Chris Brown released a two-minute video on his official YouTube page apologizing to fans and Rihanna for the assault, expressing the incident as his "deepest regret" and saying that he has repeatedly apologized to Rihanna and "accepts full responsibility", but most people felt the apology was really only because the incident hurt his music career and not because of any real sympathy for the victim. The video has since been hidden and is no longer viewable by the public.

On August 25th 2009, Brown was sentenced to five years of probation, one year of domestic violence counseling, and six months of community service; the judge retained a five-year restraining order on Brown, which requires him to remain 50 yards away from Rihanna, 10 yards at public events.

On September 2nd, 2009, Brown spoke about the domestic violence case in a pre-recorded Larry King Live interview, accompanied by his mother and attorney Mark Geragos. Chris Brown's mother had been repeatedly assaulted by his stepfather.

Chris Brown claims he does not remember assaulting Rihanna and that the night was "a blur".

On March 22, 2011, after a contentious interview with Roberts on Good Morning America at the Times Square Studios, Brown became violent in his dressing room during a commercial break before his second performance ending that day's program, and threw an object at a window overlooking Times Square, smashing the window. Brown then took off his shirt and had several angry confrontations with the segment producer, other show staff and building security, and then left the building shirtless.

So yeah... that guy has anger issues.

But apparently this hasn't really hurt Chris Brown's career. Following his 2012 Grammy performance women were making all sorts of tweets about him.

The most disturbing of which is:

"he's hot he can beat me up any day he likes lol"

Seriously? Be careful what you wish for.

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Real Men Don't Buy Girls

This is a human rights issue. This is a family issue. This is a feminist issue.

#1. An estimated one million children are forced to work in the global sex industry every year.

#2. The global sex slavery market generates a $39 billion profit annually.

#3. Selling young girls is more profitable than trafficking drugs or weapons.

Celebrities are taking part in the Real Men Don't Buy Girls campaign. Be part of this campaign and spread awareness.

Responses to Domestic Violence in Popular Music

By Liz- Guest Writer

Suzanne just posted the video and lyrics to Eve’s “Love is Blind,” so I thought I’d go a little deeper into how violence in music and music videos by women is treated. I'm just looking at songs by women about violent responses to abuse. There are a whole host of songs, some awful, some poignant, about domestic abuse as experience by women, but I'm looking at how retributive female violence is expressed in music and music videos. Here we go.

Lil’ Kim is perhaps best known for her ultra-sexual lyrics and image. Her lyrical style is biting, and often features sexualized lyrics that have been called both revolutionary and highly self-exploitative. In his article, ""Unladylike Divas": Language, Gender, and Female Gangsta Rappers," Jason Haugen situates women in gangsta rap within a series of complex narratives about violence, agency, and dominance:

It is perhaps here that the appearance of females, given dominant notions of gendered expectations for women, is most unexpected, in that femininity is widely associated with vulnerability and masculinity with dangerousness, which is often reflected in disjunctive levels of perceived threat. Not only do the women of gangsta rap engage in the discourse about violence that occurs in the narratives of their songs; they place themselves within those narratives and often at the heart of the violence (437).

Haugen cites Lil’ Kim’s song “Spend a Little Doe,” in which Kim positions herself as a proud gangstress and kills an ex-boyfriend over his indiscretions while she was in jail as pushing the envelope of gendered expectations. This sort of retributive attitude and appropriation of masculine gangsta power by female gangsta rappers is not only used by Lil’ Kim. In her revenge-anthem, “Love is Blind,” Eve addresses her dead friend’s ex-boyfriend/ murderer asking him rhetorical questions like, “How would you feel if she held you down and raped you?” and referencing his various sustained abuses against her friend as justification for her growing resentment and homicidal fantasies. She begins each verse by saying “I don’t even know you and…” with the each “and—” escalating from “—and I hate you” to “—and I’d kill you myself” and finally, “—and I want you dead.”

The violent and highly sexual imagery used by hardcore female gangsta rappers can be interpreted as a direct response to the degradation women experience through the words of male gangsta rappers--a sort of "eye-for-an-eye" mentality.

But violence exists outside of gangsta rap. The Dixie Chicks’ song “Goodbye Earl” peaked at #19 on the Billboard Hot 100 charts, and #13 on the country charts. The music video for the song employs black humor, and despite the serious nature of Wanda’s abuse in the song, the feel of it is pretty upbeat. And with lyrics like, “Let’s go out to the lake/ We’ll pack a lunch!/ And stuff you in the trunk, Earl,” it’s hard to categorize the song as a downer. Zombie-Earl even makes an appearance in the end of the music video and dances along with Wanda and Marianne, whose friendship has triumphed over Earl’s abuse.

In the same genre, Martina McBride’s hit “Independence Day” peaked at #12 on US country charts, and has an entirely different feel than “Goodbye Earl.” Perhaps the chorus will illuminate the difference:

Let freedom ring, let the white dove sing
Let the whole world know that today
Is a day of reckoning.
Let the weak be strong,let the right be wrong
Roll the stone away, let the guilty pay
It's Independence Day.

Independence Day, for Martina McBride, is about straight-up justice. In the last verse she sings, “Now I ain’t sayin’ it’s right or it’s wrong/but maybe it’s the only way/to talk about your revolution/it’s Independence Day.” (As a side note: I went to the 4th of July celebration in Boston this past year and Martina McBride was the headlining singer and sang this one. Although I like the song, it seemed like an odd choice.) McBride frames the woman's decision to fight back against her abusive husband and light up the sky by burning him to death as a patriotic move. She sings alternatively in front of flowing American flags and images of a burning house, clearly positioning "independence" as an act of agency that is relatable--after all, country music is all about patriotism.



And I think here we see a common thread in modern songs by female artists about responding to domestic abuse. Female violence in these songs has a purpose: to punish the men who have wronged them. And certainly there’s a spectrum—Kim’s vendetta is against a man who cheated on her and abandoned her while she was in jail, Eve commits violence in the memory of her friend, the Dixie Chicks sing about friends banding together to seek revenge on an abusive husband, and Martina McBride sings about a young girl’s experience watching her mother hit the breaking point.

Miranda Lambert sings another song about responding to domestic abuse in "Gunpowder & Lead." Here's the chorus: "I'm goin' home, gonna load my shotgun/Wait by the door and light a cigarette/ If he wants a fight well now he's got one/ And he ain't seen me crazy yet/He slap my face and he shook me like a rag doll/ Don't that sound like a real man/ I'm going to show him what a little girls made of/Gunpowder and lead."

Violence against men by women in all of these--fairly mainstream-- songs (with the exception of "Spend a Little Doe") is very clearly framed. These women were being severely abused. They were pushed to the breaking point, and their own lives were in danger.

Rihanna paints a more ambiguous picture in "Man Down." The most obvious interpretation is that her psychological anguish is about killing her rapist. When the video was released in June, the shit hit the proverbial fan. Which, is your average week post-release of a Rihanna music video. If there isn't some group or another complaining about her music videos, then clearly the world has ended. Brittney Cooper of the Crunk Feminist Collective made the good point that, "...[C]ritics say that Rihanna perpetuates violence rather than urging young women to get help. The most ignorant and illegitimate of these critics argued that ’If Chris Brown shot a woman in his new video, the world would stop. Rihanna should not get a pass. The video is far from broadcast worthy.’ That statement is what one would call 'an exercise in missing the point.'"

"Man Down" is not the same kind of black and white justice-grabbing video or song of the Dixie Chicks, Eve, Miranda Lambert or Martina McBride. Cooper also said, "this video shows a young Black female rape victim, vulnerable and hurt, struggling with how to make sense of the act of violence perpetrated on her. She makes a choice that many would and have made, and rather than banning this video, we need access to grapple with its moral and political implications as a community." We tend to like our justice in plain terms, and the fact that Rihanna is singing about feeling bad for the her rapist and his family after she shoots him complicates the narrative of good triumphing over evil.

Cooper also makes a good point in saying that she doesn't think there would be the same critical reaction of the video if Rihanna were a white woman. Sure. People complained about "Goodbye Earl" or "Independence Day" when they came out, but not to the same degree of hand-wringing and pearl clutching that "Man Down" got. Rihanna's position as a WOC definitely makes her a bigger target for criticism, but probably realistically, Rihanna has the most complex depiction of retributive female violence in her song. "Goodbye Earl" is more like a fantasy, and most songs about retributive female violence end abruptly after the death (narratively, at least).

"Man Down" at least gives the interesting perspective that matching violence with violence does not immediately solve all problems. Talking to a therapist doesn't really make good subject matter for the pop charts, but we as listeners get a look into her portrayal of a woman in the middle of a really complex healing process.

Ultimately... all of these songs are escapes. 1993's Defending Our Lives and 2009's Sin By Silence both document the experiences of women who kill their abusers and end up in jail for it. Which is not even to get into how violence perpetrated by women against men versus violence perpetrated by men against women is treated in the media. Women get a lot more airtime and sensationalistic coverage. Even if these songs are not true, I'm glad they're being sung because having this kind of discourse (was it right? what is real justice in this situation?) is a reminder that there are lots of women (and people in general) who experience violence and are pushed to one breaking point or another, whether or not it results in violence toward another person, and we should be talking about it.

Liz blogs about feminism, current events, pop culture and teens at Our Turn: Feminism for Newbies.

"Love is Blind" by Eve

ENTERTAINMENT - Here is a good song for anyone who is upset about domestic violence. Kudos to American rapper Eve for making this song.




"Love Is Blind" Lyrics

Hey, yo I don't even know you and I hate you
See all I know is that my girlfriend used to date you
How would you feel if she held you down and raped you?
Tried and tried, but she never could escape you

She was in love and I'd ask her how? I mean why?
What kind of love from a n*gga would black your eye?
What kind of love from a n*gga every night make you cry?
What kind of love from a n*gga make you wish he would die?
I mean shit he bought you things and gave you diamond rings
But them things wasn't worth none of the pain that he brings

And you stayed, what made you fall for him?
That n*gga had the power to make you crawl for him
I thought you was a doctor be on call for him
Smacked you down cause he said you was too tall for him, huh?
That wasn't love, babygirl you was dreamin'
I could have killed you when you said your seed was growin' from his semen

[1] - Love is blind, and it will take over your mind
What you think is love, is truly not
You need to elevate and find

[Repeat 1]

I don't even know you and I'd kill you myself
You played with her like a doll and put her back on the shelf
Wouldn't let her go to school and better herself
She had a baby by your ass and you ain't giving no help

Uh-huh big time hustler, snake motherf*cker
One's born everyday and everyday she was your sucker
How could you beat the mother of your kids?
How could you tell her that you love her?

Don't give a f*ck if she lives
She told me she would leave you, I admit it she did
But came back, made up a lie about you missing your kids
Sweet kisses, baby ain't even know she was your mistress

Had to deal with fist fights and phone calls from your bitches
Floss like you possess her, tellin' me to mind my business
Said that it was her life and stay the f*ck out of it
I tried and said just for him I'll keep a ready clip

[Repeat 1 (2x)]

I don't even know you and I want you dead
Don't know the facts but I saw the blood pour from her head
See I laid down beside her in the hospital bed
And about two hours later, doctors said she was dead

Had the nerve to show up at her mother's house the next day
To come and pay your respects and help the family pray
Even knelt down on one knee and let a tear drop
And before you had a chance to get up
You heard my gun cock

Prayin' to me now, I ain't God but I'll pretend
I ain't start your life but n*gga I'mma bring it to an end
And I did, clear shots and no regrets, never
Cops comin' lock me under the jail
N*gga whatever my bitch, f*ck it my sister
You could never figure out even if I let you live
What our love was all about
I considered her my blood and it don't come no thicker

[Repeat 1]

But what does this have to do with feminism???

ART HISTORY - So I was browsing on artfem.tv and I found this video called "Reptilica" by Barbara Agreste...

And my basic response was "But what does this have to do with feminism???"

You see artfem.tv promotes feminist art. No problem there. Its what I was looking for.

But the video "Reptilica" was art... but it had nothing to do with feminism. Yes there was a woman in the video, and some leaves and worms, and something that looked like they might be worm eggs (not sure, hard to tell), but there was no men in the video, nothing about equality... it didn't even have a plot.



You see this is part of a larger problem I see in the feminist movement... its stuff that is female, but has nothing to do with actual feminism.

ie. If I photograph a woman and she is just sitting there not doing anything, is that feminist? No. There is no narrative. Its too meaningless. People might look at it and think its advertising the clothes she is wearing. I might as well paint an abstract painting and give it a feminist slogan for the title and that would have more meaning to it.

Feminism is about equality and pushing the boundaries of what people think is acceptable for women to do (and hopefully making people realize there is NO BOUNDARIES). Women with careers, women in sports, women in politics, women balancing the needs of family with their own needs to be happy.

My apologies to Barbara Agreste, but I am sorry I don't know why artfem.tv put your video on their website .Sadly her video isn't the only one which is off topic... there are numerous other videos that I scratch my head and say, wow, what is the point of this meaningless fluff?

I would find more feminist meaning watching Britain's Top Model (in a reverse thinking sort of way)... and because any show that glorifies beauty over brains deserves to be mocked.



Conclusions? Yes, Britain's Top Model isn't art... its not even good television. But watched from a feminist perspective and you realize just how desperate some young women are because they haven't explored the option of using the brains to earn money instead.

Not that money brings you happiness anyway. For that you need a balanced lifestyle... but that is another topic for another day.