Step One
Resist.
Step Two
Seek help.
Step Three
Kick the bastard in the balls and walk away.
* Note - Helps if the person doing the kicking is a taekwondo champion. See the video below. :)
Showing posts with label Abuse and Rape. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Abuse and Rape. Show all posts
How to deal with an abusive boyfriend
Want to know how to deal with an abusive boyfriend?
Step One
Resist.
Step Two
Seek help.
Step Three
Kick the bastard in the balls and walk away.
* Note - Helps if the person doing the kicking is a taekwondo champion. See the video below. :)
Step One
Resist.
Step Two
Seek help.
Step Three
Kick the bastard in the balls and walk away.
* Note - Helps if the person doing the kicking is a taekwondo champion. See the video below. :)
Patrick Stewart, speaking out versus Violence Against Women
Patrick Stewart is not just a Starfleet captain, X-Men’s Charles Xavier and an actor admired by millions of fans
The actor is also
deeply involved in work that helps women who are victims of violence. At
the recent Texas Comicpalooza, in reply to a question, he talked about
how his father’s violence towards his mother inspired him. He also
explains how he only recently discovered that his father suffered from
PTSD dating back to his father's involvement in World War II.
Pregnant Woman Decapitates Rapist
A friend of mine sent me this:
Now THAT is what I call "Pioneer Justice". If this had happened in the USA, in the mid-west, nobody would have faulted the woman for giving the rapist his 'just desserts'.
A pregnant rape victim in Turkey shot and decapitated her attacker then left his severed head in the square of her local village.
The woman, five months pregnant, is demanding authorities let her have an abortion even though she is way beyond the ten week limit allowed for terminations in Turkey. The woman even said she is prepared to die as long as she is allowed to have the abortion.
When police arrested her near to the severed head she said; 'That is the head of one who toyed with my honour.'
Womens' groups in Turkey have praised her as a heroine. It turned out that the woman, aged 26 and a mother-of-two, had been abused by her attacker for months before she took her revenge and was being blackmailed.
The rapist had taken nude photos of her and threatened to send them to her parents unless she continued sleeping with him.
She took a gun and shot him ten times, several times in his private parts, before cutting off his head and hurling it into the village square at Yalvac.
The man was also reportedly stabbed in the abdomen after he was shot.
"He kept saying that he would tell everyone about the rape," she said during her testimony. "My daughter will start school this year," she said, referring to one of her other daughters.
"Everyone would have insulted my children. Now no one can. I saved my honour," she added.
"They will now call children the kids of the women who saved her honor."
Now THAT is what I call "Pioneer Justice". If this had happened in the USA, in the mid-west, nobody would have faulted the woman for giving the rapist his 'just desserts'.
Moroccan child forced to marry her rapist
16 year-old Amina Filali was raped, beaten and then later forced to wed her rapist.
The only way she saw to escape this horror and her rapist turned husband was to kill herself.
Article 475 in Morocco’s penal code allows a rapist to avoid prosecution and a long prison sentence by marrying his victim if she is a minor. Since 2006, the Moroccan government has been promising to strike down this law and pass legislation prohibiting violence against women, but it has yet to happen because there hasn't been enough public pressure.
Hundreds of Moroccan protestors have taken to the streets demanding real reform, turning up the heat on the Moroccan Prime Minister and heads of other ministries, but like similar incidents in the past when the bad press dies down it is business as usual.
BUT YOU CAN HELP.
Sign the petition for a comprehensive law to stop violence against women in Morocco, including the repeal of Article 475. When it reaches 250,000 signatures local women's groups in Morocco will deliver it to decision-makers:
http://www.avaaz.org/en/forced_to_marry_her_rapist_b/?vl
Note: By the time I am writing this its already reached 639,000 signatures, so the new goal is 750,000.
When Amina was brutally raped, her family reported it to officials in their town of Larache. Instead of prosecuting the rapist, the court gave him the option of marrying his victim.
The government has issued a statement arguing that the relationship was consensual, but Amina's suicide indicates she was forced to marry him by the local government / police using Article 475. Women’s groups in Morocco have long fought this law, and it's time for the Moroccan legislature to renounce this wicked law and create new laws that protect the safety of women.
WANT TO HELP MORE? SEE THE FOLLOWING WEBSITES:
Morocco protest against rape-marriage law (BBC)
Morocco mulls tougher line against rape-marriages (Al Jazeera)
Protesters in Morocco demand reform of rape laws after teen girl's suicide (CNN)
Morocco: Amina’s parents contradict official account, insist their daughter was raped
Global Rights report on violence against women in Morocco
Facebook Group Page
The only way she saw to escape this horror and her rapist turned husband was to kill herself.
Article 475 in Morocco’s penal code allows a rapist to avoid prosecution and a long prison sentence by marrying his victim if she is a minor. Since 2006, the Moroccan government has been promising to strike down this law and pass legislation prohibiting violence against women, but it has yet to happen because there hasn't been enough public pressure.Hundreds of Moroccan protestors have taken to the streets demanding real reform, turning up the heat on the Moroccan Prime Minister and heads of other ministries, but like similar incidents in the past when the bad press dies down it is business as usual.
BUT YOU CAN HELP.
Sign the petition for a comprehensive law to stop violence against women in Morocco, including the repeal of Article 475. When it reaches 250,000 signatures local women's groups in Morocco will deliver it to decision-makers:
http://www.avaaz.org/en/forced_to_marry_her_rapist_b/?vl
Note: By the time I am writing this its already reached 639,000 signatures, so the new goal is 750,000.
When Amina was brutally raped, her family reported it to officials in their town of Larache. Instead of prosecuting the rapist, the court gave him the option of marrying his victim.
The government has issued a statement arguing that the relationship was consensual, but Amina's suicide indicates she was forced to marry him by the local government / police using Article 475. Women’s groups in Morocco have long fought this law, and it's time for the Moroccan legislature to renounce this wicked law and create new laws that protect the safety of women.
WANT TO HELP MORE? SEE THE FOLLOWING WEBSITES:
Morocco protest against rape-marriage law (BBC)
Morocco mulls tougher line against rape-marriages (Al Jazeera)
Protesters in Morocco demand reform of rape laws after teen girl's suicide (CNN)
Morocco: Amina’s parents contradict official account, insist their daughter was raped
Global Rights report on violence against women in Morocco
Facebook Group Page
The Truth about Chris Brown
FEMINIST - In 2009 Chris Brown pleaded guilty to felony assault of singer and then-girlfriend Rihanna. He was sentenced to five years probation and six months of community service.
He had beaten up his girlfriend and her injuries were so severe they could not be hidden by makeup. Rihanna's scheduled performance at the 2009 Grammy Awards was cancelled.
Following his arrest, several of Chris Brown's commercial ads were suspended, his music was withdrawn from multiple radio stations, and he withdrew from public appearances, including the 2009 Grammy Awards, where he was replaced by Justin Timberlake and Al Green. Brown hired a crisis management team to handle his new media image.
On June 22nd, 2009, Chris Brown pleaded guilty to felony assault and accepted a plea deal of community labor, five years' formal probation and domestic violence counseling.
Numerous organizations criticised the plea deal, advocating the punishment was not severe enough for the crime.
Chris Brown released a two-minute video on his official YouTube page apologizing to fans and Rihanna for the assault, expressing the incident as his "deepest regret" and saying that he has repeatedly apologized to Rihanna and "accepts full responsibility", but most people felt the apology was really only because the incident hurt his music career and not because of any real sympathy for the victim. The video has since been hidden and is no longer viewable by the public.
On August 25th 2009, Brown was sentenced to five years of probation, one year of domestic violence counseling, and six months of community service; the judge retained a five-year restraining order on Brown, which requires him to remain 50 yards away from Rihanna, 10 yards at public events.
On September 2nd, 2009, Brown spoke about the domestic violence case in a pre-recorded Larry King Live interview, accompanied by his mother and attorney Mark Geragos. Chris Brown's mother had been repeatedly assaulted by his stepfather.
Chris Brown claims he does not remember assaulting Rihanna and that the night was "a blur".
On March 22, 2011, after a contentious interview with Roberts on Good Morning America at the Times Square Studios, Brown became violent in his dressing room during a commercial break before his second performance ending that day's program, and threw an object at a window overlooking Times Square, smashing the window. Brown then took off his shirt and had several angry confrontations with the segment producer, other show staff and building security, and then left the building shirtless.
So yeah... that guy has anger issues.
But apparently this hasn't really hurt Chris Brown's career. Following his 2012 Grammy performance women were making all sorts of tweets about him.
The most disturbing of which is:
"he's hot he can beat me up any day he likes lol"
Seriously? Be careful what you wish for.
He had beaten up his girlfriend and her injuries were so severe they could not be hidden by makeup. Rihanna's scheduled performance at the 2009 Grammy Awards was cancelled.
Following his arrest, several of Chris Brown's commercial ads were suspended, his music was withdrawn from multiple radio stations, and he withdrew from public appearances, including the 2009 Grammy Awards, where he was replaced by Justin Timberlake and Al Green. Brown hired a crisis management team to handle his new media image.
On June 22nd, 2009, Chris Brown pleaded guilty to felony assault and accepted a plea deal of community labor, five years' formal probation and domestic violence counseling.
Numerous organizations criticised the plea deal, advocating the punishment was not severe enough for the crime.
Chris Brown released a two-minute video on his official YouTube page apologizing to fans and Rihanna for the assault, expressing the incident as his "deepest regret" and saying that he has repeatedly apologized to Rihanna and "accepts full responsibility", but most people felt the apology was really only because the incident hurt his music career and not because of any real sympathy for the victim. The video has since been hidden and is no longer viewable by the public.
On August 25th 2009, Brown was sentenced to five years of probation, one year of domestic violence counseling, and six months of community service; the judge retained a five-year restraining order on Brown, which requires him to remain 50 yards away from Rihanna, 10 yards at public events.
On September 2nd, 2009, Brown spoke about the domestic violence case in a pre-recorded Larry King Live interview, accompanied by his mother and attorney Mark Geragos. Chris Brown's mother had been repeatedly assaulted by his stepfather.
Chris Brown claims he does not remember assaulting Rihanna and that the night was "a blur".
On March 22, 2011, after a contentious interview with Roberts on Good Morning America at the Times Square Studios, Brown became violent in his dressing room during a commercial break before his second performance ending that day's program, and threw an object at a window overlooking Times Square, smashing the window. Brown then took off his shirt and had several angry confrontations with the segment producer, other show staff and building security, and then left the building shirtless.
So yeah... that guy has anger issues.
But apparently this hasn't really hurt Chris Brown's career. Following his 2012 Grammy performance women were making all sorts of tweets about him.
The most disturbing of which is:
"he's hot he can beat me up any day he likes lol"
Seriously? Be careful what you wish for.
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Real Men Don't Buy Girls
This is a human rights issue. This is a family issue. This is a feminist issue.
#1. An estimated one million children are forced to work in the global sex industry every year.
#2. The global sex slavery market generates a $39 billion profit annually.
#3. Selling young girls is more profitable than trafficking drugs or weapons.
Celebrities are taking part in the Real Men Don't Buy Girls campaign. Be part of this campaign and spread awareness.
#1. An estimated one million children are forced to work in the global sex industry every year.
#2. The global sex slavery market generates a $39 billion profit annually.
#3. Selling young girls is more profitable than trafficking drugs or weapons.
Celebrities are taking part in the Real Men Don't Buy Girls campaign. Be part of this campaign and spread awareness.
Responses to Domestic Violence in Popular Music
By Liz- Guest Writer
Lil’ Kim is perhaps best known for her ultra-sexual lyrics and image. Her lyrical style is biting, and often features sexualized lyrics that have been called both revolutionary and highly self-exploitative. In his article, ""Unladylike Divas": Language, Gender, and Female Gangsta Rappers," Jason Haugen situates women in gangsta rap within a series of complex narratives about violence, agency, and dominance:
It is perhaps here that the appearance of females, given dominant notions of gendered expectations for women, is most unexpected, in that femininity is widely associated with vulnerability and masculinity with dangerousness, which is often reflected in disjunctive levels of perceived threat. Not only do the women of gangsta rap engage in the discourse about violence that occurs in the narratives of their songs; they place themselves within those narratives and often at the heart of the violence (437).
Haugen cites Lil’ Kim’s song “Spend a Little Doe,” in which Kim positions herself as a proud gangstress and kills an ex-boyfriend over his indiscretions while she was in jail as pushing the envelope of gendered expectations. This sort of retributive attitude and appropriation of masculine gangsta power by female gangsta rappers is not only used by Lil’ Kim. In her revenge-anthem, “Love is Blind,” Eve addresses her dead friend’s ex-boyfriend/ murderer asking him rhetorical questions like, “How would you feel if she held you down and raped you?” and referencing his various sustained abuses against her friend as justification for her growing resentment and homicidal fantasies. She begins each verse by saying “I don’t even know you and…” with the each “and—” escalating from “—and I hate you” to “—and I’d kill you myself” and finally, “—and I want you dead.”
The violent and highly sexual imagery used by hardcore female gangsta rappers can be interpreted as a direct response to the degradation women experience through the words of male gangsta rappers--a sort of "eye-for-an-eye" mentality.
But violence exists outside of gangsta rap. The Dixie Chicks’ song “Goodbye Earl” peaked at #19 on the Billboard Hot 100 charts, and #13 on the country charts. The music video for the song employs black humor, and despite the serious nature of Wanda’s abuse in the song, the feel of it is pretty upbeat. And with lyrics like, “Let’s go out to the lake/ We’ll pack a lunch!/ And stuff you in the trunk, Earl,” it’s hard to categorize the song as a downer. Zombie-Earl even makes an appearance in the end of the music video and dances along with Wanda and Marianne, whose friendship has triumphed over Earl’s abuse.
But violence exists outside of gangsta rap. The Dixie Chicks’ song “Goodbye Earl” peaked at #19 on the Billboard Hot 100 charts, and #13 on the country charts. The music video for the song employs black humor, and despite the serious nature of Wanda’s abuse in the song, the feel of it is pretty upbeat. And with lyrics like, “Let’s go out to the lake/ We’ll pack a lunch!/ And stuff you in the trunk, Earl,” it’s hard to categorize the song as a downer. Zombie-Earl even makes an appearance in the end of the music video and dances along with Wanda and Marianne, whose friendship has triumphed over Earl’s abuse.
In the same genre, Martina McBride’s hit “Independence Day” peaked at #12 on US country charts, and has an entirely different feel than “Goodbye Earl.” Perhaps the chorus will illuminate the difference:
Let freedom ring, let the white dove sing
Let the whole world know that today
Is a day of reckoning.
Let the weak be strong,let the right be wrong
Roll the stone away, let the guilty pay
It's Independence Day.
Independence Day, for Martina McBride, is about straight-up justice. In the last verse she sings, “Now I ain’t sayin’ it’s right or it’s wrong/but maybe it’s the only way/to talk about your revolution/it’s Independence Day.” (As a side note: I went to the 4th of July celebration in Boston this past year and Martina McBride was the headlining singer and sang this one. Although I like the song, it seemed like an odd choice.) McBride frames the woman's decision to fight back against her abusive husband and light up the sky by burning him to death as a patriotic move. She sings alternatively in front of flowing American flags and images of a burning house, clearly positioning "independence" as an act of agency that is relatable--after all, country music is all about patriotism.
And I think here we see a common thread in modern songs by female artists about responding to domestic abuse. Female violence in these songs has a purpose: to punish the men who have wronged them. And certainly there’s a spectrum—Kim’s vendetta is against a man who cheated on her and abandoned her while she was in jail, Eve commits violence in the memory of her friend, the Dixie Chicks sing about friends banding together to seek revenge on an abusive husband, and Martina McBride sings about a young girl’s experience watching her mother hit the breaking point.
Miranda Lambert sings another song about responding to domestic abuse in "Gunpowder & Lead." Here's the chorus: "I'm goin' home, gonna load my shotgun/Wait by the door and light a cigarette/ If he wants a fight well now he's got one/ And he ain't seen me crazy yet/He slap my face and he shook me like a rag doll/ Don't that sound like a real man/ I'm going to show him what a little girls made of/Gunpowder and lead."
Violence against men by women in all of these--fairly mainstream-- songs (with the exception of "Spend a Little Doe") is very clearly framed. These women were being severely abused. They were pushed to the breaking point, and their own lives were in danger.
Rihanna paints a more ambiguous picture in "Man Down." The most obvious interpretation is that her psychological anguish is about killing her rapist. When the video was released in June, the shit hit the proverbial fan. Which, is your average week post-release of a Rihanna music video. If there isn't some group or another complaining about her music videos, then clearly the world has ended. Brittney Cooper of the Crunk Feminist Collective made the good point that, "...[C]ritics say that Rihanna perpetuates violence rather than urging young women to get help. The most ignorant and illegitimate of these critics argued that ’If Chris Brown shot a woman in his new video, the world would stop. Rihanna should not get a pass. The video is far from broadcast worthy.’ That statement is what one would call 'an exercise in missing the point.'"
"Man Down" is not the same kind of black and white justice-grabbing video or song of the Dixie Chicks, Eve, Miranda Lambert or Martina McBride. Cooper also said, "this video shows a young Black female rape victim, vulnerable and hurt, struggling with how to make sense of the act of violence perpetrated on her. She makes a choice that many would and have made, and rather than banning this video, we need access to grapple with its moral and political implications as a community." We tend to like our justice in plain terms, and the fact that Rihanna is singing about feeling bad for the her rapist and his family after she shoots him complicates the narrative of good triumphing over evil.
Cooper also makes a good point in saying that she doesn't think there would be the same critical reaction of the video if Rihanna were a white woman. Sure. People complained about "Goodbye Earl" or "Independence Day" when they came out, but not to the same degree of hand-wringing and pearl clutching that "Man Down" got. Rihanna's position as a WOC definitely makes her a bigger target for criticism, but probably realistically, Rihanna has the most complex depiction of retributive female violence in her song. "Goodbye Earl" is more like a fantasy, and most songs about retributive female violence end abruptly after the death (narratively, at least).
"Man Down" at least gives the interesting perspective that matching violence with violence does not immediately solve all problems. Talking to a therapist doesn't really make good subject matter for the pop charts, but we as listeners get a look into her portrayal of a woman in the middle of a really complex healing process.
Ultimately... all of these songs are escapes. 1993's Defending Our Lives and 2009's Sin By Silence both document the experiences of women who kill their abusers and end up in jail for it. Which is not even to get into how violence perpetrated by women against men versus violence perpetrated by men against women is treated in the media. Women get a lot more airtime and sensationalistic coverage. Even if these songs are not true, I'm glad they're being sung because having this kind of discourse (was it right? what is real justice in this situation?) is a reminder that there are lots of women (and people in general) who experience violence and are pushed to one breaking point or another, whether or not it results in violence toward another person, and we should be talking about it.
Liz blogs about feminism, current events, pop culture and teens at Our Turn: Feminism for Newbies.
"Love is Blind" by Eve
ENTERTAINMENT - Here is a good song for anyone who is upset about domestic violence. Kudos to American rapper Eve for making this song.
"Love Is Blind" Lyrics
Hey, yo I don't even know you and I hate you
See all I know is that my girlfriend used to date you
How would you feel if she held you down and raped you?
Tried and tried, but she never could escape you
She was in love and I'd ask her how? I mean why?
What kind of love from a n*gga would black your eye?
What kind of love from a n*gga every night make you cry?
What kind of love from a n*gga make you wish he would die?
I mean shit he bought you things and gave you diamond rings
But them things wasn't worth none of the pain that he brings
And you stayed, what made you fall for him?
That n*gga had the power to make you crawl for him
I thought you was a doctor be on call for him
Smacked you down cause he said you was too tall for him, huh?
That wasn't love, babygirl you was dreamin'
I could have killed you when you said your seed was growin' from his semen
[1] - Love is blind, and it will take over your mind
What you think is love, is truly not
You need to elevate and find
[Repeat 1]
I don't even know you and I'd kill you myself
You played with her like a doll and put her back on the shelf
Wouldn't let her go to school and better herself
She had a baby by your ass and you ain't giving no help
Uh-huh big time hustler, snake motherf*cker
One's born everyday and everyday she was your sucker
How could you beat the mother of your kids?
How could you tell her that you love her?
Don't give a f*ck if she lives
She told me she would leave you, I admit it she did
But came back, made up a lie about you missing your kids
Sweet kisses, baby ain't even know she was your mistress
Had to deal with fist fights and phone calls from your bitches
Floss like you possess her, tellin' me to mind my business
Said that it was her life and stay the f*ck out of it
I tried and said just for him I'll keep a ready clip
[Repeat 1 (2x)]
I don't even know you and I want you dead
Don't know the facts but I saw the blood pour from her head
See I laid down beside her in the hospital bed
And about two hours later, doctors said she was dead
Had the nerve to show up at her mother's house the next day
To come and pay your respects and help the family pray
Even knelt down on one knee and let a tear drop
And before you had a chance to get up
You heard my gun cock
Prayin' to me now, I ain't God but I'll pretend
I ain't start your life but n*gga I'mma bring it to an end
And I did, clear shots and no regrets, never
Cops comin' lock me under the jail
N*gga whatever my bitch, f*ck it my sister
You could never figure out even if I let you live
What our love was all about
I considered her my blood and it don't come no thicker
[Repeat 1]
"Love Is Blind" Lyrics
Hey, yo I don't even know you and I hate you
See all I know is that my girlfriend used to date you
How would you feel if she held you down and raped you?
Tried and tried, but she never could escape you
She was in love and I'd ask her how? I mean why?
What kind of love from a n*gga would black your eye?
What kind of love from a n*gga every night make you cry?
What kind of love from a n*gga make you wish he would die?
I mean shit he bought you things and gave you diamond rings
But them things wasn't worth none of the pain that he brings
And you stayed, what made you fall for him?
That n*gga had the power to make you crawl for him
I thought you was a doctor be on call for him
Smacked you down cause he said you was too tall for him, huh?
That wasn't love, babygirl you was dreamin'
I could have killed you when you said your seed was growin' from his semen
[1] - Love is blind, and it will take over your mind
What you think is love, is truly not
You need to elevate and find
[Repeat 1]
I don't even know you and I'd kill you myself
You played with her like a doll and put her back on the shelf
Wouldn't let her go to school and better herself
She had a baby by your ass and you ain't giving no help
Uh-huh big time hustler, snake motherf*cker
One's born everyday and everyday she was your sucker
How could you beat the mother of your kids?
How could you tell her that you love her?
Don't give a f*ck if she lives
She told me she would leave you, I admit it she did
But came back, made up a lie about you missing your kids
Sweet kisses, baby ain't even know she was your mistress
Had to deal with fist fights and phone calls from your bitches
Floss like you possess her, tellin' me to mind my business
Said that it was her life and stay the f*ck out of it
I tried and said just for him I'll keep a ready clip
[Repeat 1 (2x)]
I don't even know you and I want you dead
Don't know the facts but I saw the blood pour from her head
See I laid down beside her in the hospital bed
And about two hours later, doctors said she was dead
Had the nerve to show up at her mother's house the next day
To come and pay your respects and help the family pray
Even knelt down on one knee and let a tear drop
And before you had a chance to get up
You heard my gun cock
Prayin' to me now, I ain't God but I'll pretend
I ain't start your life but n*gga I'mma bring it to an end
And I did, clear shots and no regrets, never
Cops comin' lock me under the jail
N*gga whatever my bitch, f*ck it my sister
You could never figure out even if I let you live
What our love was all about
I considered her my blood and it don't come no thicker
[Repeat 1]
The Truth about Work Place Abuse in Adult Entertainment
The video below was sent to me and contains footage (censored) depicting how female p*rn stars are treated in California's adult entertainment industry.
And if this is the kind of abuse happening in California, what kind of abuse is happening in the rest of the world?
Note: This isn't to say all p*rn is bad. ie. There is a growing movement of Feminist P*rn, including the Feminist P*rn Awards.
And if this is the kind of abuse happening in California, what kind of abuse is happening in the rest of the world?
Note: This isn't to say all p*rn is bad. ie. There is a growing movement of Feminist P*rn, including the Feminist P*rn Awards.
The Truth about Postfeminism
ENTERTAINMENT - Today someone asked me what my favourite feminist book was, which one I would recommend... and I immediately thought back to university and a book I found in a bookstore...
INTRODUCING POSTFEMINISM
It wasn't one of those dry, boring reads.
It was funny. It was informative. It was full of information and facts, history and a distinct look at what postfeminism is.
WHAT IS POSTFEMINISM?
Put plainly, postfeminism is about choice.
Examples:
#1. The choice between having a child or not having having one.
#2. Having a career vs being a gold-digger (or being homeless and jobless).
#3. Getting married or not getting married.
#4. Enjoying sex and exploring your sexuality vs being a prude.
Life is all about choices. Postfeminism supports the idea that women without choice are slaves to whatever society tells them to be. Thus in order to break free women need to choose for themselves what they want to do.
Nobody is forcing them to choose, but bad situations will often cause people to make difficult choices.
ie. You have 2 kids already and you're a single mother. You get pregnant and you don't think you can afford a third child. You might not believe in having abortions, but you and your 2 kids can't afford to have another mouth to feed. Does the woman stand by her beliefs and risk becoming homeless or does she opt for the practical approach for the safety of her existing children?
It may not even seem like she has much choice sometimes. It happens.
ie. A teenager with very conservative Christian parents gets pregnant. She is too afraid to tell her parents and too young to go to an abortion clinic without a guardian (some countries require parental approval if the teen is considered too young). She becomes paranoid her parents will disown her or maybe even kill her if she tells them she is with child. Does she tell her parents? Does she run away and have it anyway? Does she have an abortion using a coathanger?
So many options. Each a hard decision.
ie. A young woman gets raped by her boss. Does she tell her friends? Does she tell the police? Does she press charges? Does she quit her job or does she keep working under such stressful conditions, putting her in a position where she might get raped again? Does she sue his ass for mental and physical anguish? Is she able to move on and eventually find happiness or will she eventually become androphobic?
The importance of choice and freedom of choice thus becomes abundantly clear. Each of these choices has to be equally supported by family, loved ones and society. Not necessarily approved of because some people will doubtless disagree, but the woman's right to make her own choices is fundamental to her freedom as a human being.
Women, regardless of what decisions they make, need societal support for those decisions. If they choose one thing over another society should not be ridiculing such women. They're victims of circumstance.
We should not be blaming the victims. We need to be helping them. (Of course some people will choose to blame the victims, and that is their right, but one can hope that most people would be kind, compassionate and understanding enough that they would recognize that sometimes people get into bad situations and when in bad situations they often just follow their heart.)
Lets take myself. I am currently shopping for sperm because I want to have a child. I suppose I could just find myself a willing male participant, but I don't want any daddy with legal issues coming back to haunt me.
I've made a choice that I want to have a child. I've also made a choice that I don't want there to be a father. The closest thing to a father will be my girlfriend (who may eventually become my wife).
And to those of you out there who don't think two lesbians can raise a kid, I recommend you watch this video:
INTRODUCING POSTFEMINISM
It wasn't one of those dry, boring reads.It was funny. It was informative. It was full of information and facts, history and a distinct look at what postfeminism is.
WHAT IS POSTFEMINISM?
Put plainly, postfeminism is about choice.
Examples:
#1. The choice between having a child or not having having one.
#2. Having a career vs being a gold-digger (or being homeless and jobless).
#3. Getting married or not getting married.
#4. Enjoying sex and exploring your sexuality vs being a prude.
Life is all about choices. Postfeminism supports the idea that women without choice are slaves to whatever society tells them to be. Thus in order to break free women need to choose for themselves what they want to do.
Nobody is forcing them to choose, but bad situations will often cause people to make difficult choices.
ie. You have 2 kids already and you're a single mother. You get pregnant and you don't think you can afford a third child. You might not believe in having abortions, but you and your 2 kids can't afford to have another mouth to feed. Does the woman stand by her beliefs and risk becoming homeless or does she opt for the practical approach for the safety of her existing children?
It may not even seem like she has much choice sometimes. It happens.
ie. A teenager with very conservative Christian parents gets pregnant. She is too afraid to tell her parents and too young to go to an abortion clinic without a guardian (some countries require parental approval if the teen is considered too young). She becomes paranoid her parents will disown her or maybe even kill her if she tells them she is with child. Does she tell her parents? Does she run away and have it anyway? Does she have an abortion using a coathanger?
So many options. Each a hard decision.
ie. A young woman gets raped by her boss. Does she tell her friends? Does she tell the police? Does she press charges? Does she quit her job or does she keep working under such stressful conditions, putting her in a position where she might get raped again? Does she sue his ass for mental and physical anguish? Is she able to move on and eventually find happiness or will she eventually become androphobic?
The importance of choice and freedom of choice thus becomes abundantly clear. Each of these choices has to be equally supported by family, loved ones and society. Not necessarily approved of because some people will doubtless disagree, but the woman's right to make her own choices is fundamental to her freedom as a human being.
Women, regardless of what decisions they make, need societal support for those decisions. If they choose one thing over another society should not be ridiculing such women. They're victims of circumstance.
We should not be blaming the victims. We need to be helping them. (Of course some people will choose to blame the victims, and that is their right, but one can hope that most people would be kind, compassionate and understanding enough that they would recognize that sometimes people get into bad situations and when in bad situations they often just follow their heart.)
Lets take myself. I am currently shopping for sperm because I want to have a child. I suppose I could just find myself a willing male participant, but I don't want any daddy with legal issues coming back to haunt me.
I've made a choice that I want to have a child. I've also made a choice that I don't want there to be a father. The closest thing to a father will be my girlfriend (who may eventually become my wife).
And to those of you out there who don't think two lesbians can raise a kid, I recommend you watch this video:
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